Family Circus

I still remember the first time I brought Greg home to meet the family. Welcome to the Norris family Zoo/Circus. haha! He was broken in within a matter of moments. Between the 3 dogs, my overly pleasing mother, easily irritated father, very understanding sister, extremely goofy/corny brother-in-law and 2 nieces that thought he was a jungle gym....welcome home, Greg! haha Surprisingly, he absolutely loved the craziness of my family. Because we're family. The one thing I'll always remember him saying about the trip was that it was that night that he knew I was the woman he was going to marry. He told me that you can never really understand a person until you meet their family, see their roots, and quirks. I had never thought of it like that before. He said it was so funny to see where my personality came from and to see why I became the way I am. I knew he was quiet...I thought he was overwhelmed!! But in reality, he was taking it all in and putting every piece of the puzzle together. He said that he's never felt so at home in a strangers house. But that's my family for you. There aren't strangerse in the Norris house! haha And after that trip, it was a done deal. He loved me and my family. After that trip he looked at me like a new person. I never would have guessed that after introducing him into the mass chaos of the Norris family circus that he would fall more in love with me. I half expected him to pack up and run!

It's stories like that that I love to talk to him about. When we're with new friends that don't know our story, I always like to listen to him tell it. Because with each new explaination comes a new story about how he came to realize that I was the love of his life. And with each story, I realize how extremely lucky I am. What a 180 from one boyfriend to the next. Wow! From very reserved and non-emotional to someone who constantly reassures me and outwardly expresses his love. It's exactly what I needed. Sometimes I worry that we're too mushy but then...there are times like exposing him to the family and moments like last night where we can make fun of each other for hours and just laugh that make me think...eh...maybe we're not so mushy. :) We're just happy and completely enjoying life together. The good, the bad, the chaotic AND the ugly. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?

A little Mirror Therapy

This weekend was a real eye opener for me. Sadly enough I came to a realization that my weight gain is causing my depression to flair up again. I've looked in the mirror everyday for the past 8 months and been completely disgusted with myself. I've avoided mirrors if at all possible. My prof, Lee, told me I need mirror therapy. HA! Sadly enough, he may be right. I've found more and more that I don't want to see old friends and I just couldn't figure out why. I couldn't figure out why I was being so anti-social until this weekend. It finally hit me all at once. Well, I've gained about 5-10 lbs since I have seen them last and I don't want them to talk about it. I don't want them to know. I don't want Chad to know. So I've been hiding. I realized Saturday morning when I was supposed to go out to Broad Ripple with Greg's girlfriends that I don't feel pretty and I don't want to be around a lot of skinny, pretty girls at the bars. I hated myself. I hated the way I looked and I didn't want Greg to find someone else that's skinnier and prettier than I am...(my self confidence at an all-time low).

I don't really remember what Greg and I got into it about before we left to get my car, but the ride to the body shop was never ending. The silence cut into me like a knife. Finally when he parked he asked if he was going to see me later and I said no. I wanted him to go out with his friends. I don't want to take anymore time away from them. I was also feeling guilty for buying clothes the night before. He made me feel guilty about buying them because I'm supposed to be saving money for a car. So I sat there wondering, why, if I know I'm supposed to be saving money, do I spend it on things I don't need? I didn't need them, but I felt better about myself in them, so I bought them! Finally as we sat there and argued, it came out. "Greg, I feel ugly. I hate myself. My depression is hitting me really hard this week. I buy clothes because I feel horrible about myself. I do everything I can to hide my body. I do everything I can to mask my unhappiness. I always have. And I'm doing it again." As I wiped my tear soaked cheeks, he turned my face toward his and looked into my eyes and told me that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and that if I was uncomfortable with the way I looked, he thought it was crazy talk but, nevertheless, he would sacrifice time with friends to spend time with me. He was more worried about me being happy with who I am than his friends nagging about him not spending time with them.

It's times like that when I feel like I'm high maintenance, but it's also times like that where I know I'm with the man I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with. As I've always said, looks come and go, personalities are for life. He reminded me of that Saturday. I'm glad that we have so much fun together, and then when it comes down to it....looks really don't matter in our relationship. He's my best friend. I want to be what he thinks I am...the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, but at what point can I just be happy with who I am and what I look like? I guess I'll find out soon enough. A set exercise every week, keeping my eating habits accountable with Sheri, and a little mirror therapy. I guess everyone needs a little mirror therapy sometimes!

What a Labor Day weekend....

Thought I would upload my pics from the Labor Day party & home...FINALLY! :)



The Incredibles. HA!

















































































Eb was a little ridiculous but hey...that's why I love her! :) It really was a fantastic weekend. I need a few more of those in my life.

couldn't have said it better myself.

So much for that!

I know initially I said that this would be a daily journal....well so much for that! Life is full of disappointments I guess. haha This one being on the lighter side of let downs. However, on the other end....can I say how extremely disappointed I am after the Colts/Bears game last night?! As Colts fans silently left The Luke last night with their heads hung low, the thought crosses everyone's mind....What the heck was that!? Did we show up last night??? Really!?! Wow. I mean I was nervous because my boy, Jeff Saturday, is out and that leaves some big shoes to fill in order to protect Peyton Manning. But seriously guys....that wasn't the problem at all. All I'm going to say is....I'm glad we got that out of the way....now lets go play some football, shall we?

I guess on a positive note, the only player on our team to get injured was Dallas Clark. Fingers crossed that it isn't serious. Some other teams were not as fortunate. Press conference with Bill Belichick today revealed that Tom Brady is out for the season. Thoughts and prayers go out for him and his recovery. BUT....heh heh heh heh heh Ok, that was mean...but COME ON! I'm a Colts fan! Could we get better news than that?!? But seriously, sorry Tom. It's going to be a long road to recovery. At least he still has the hottest celebrity model for a girlfriend, right? haha.

Well the weekend was great. Very very relaxing. Did a lot of sleeping and laying on the couch with Greg. It was heaven. :) Truly. We went out Saturday night with his guy friends. It was guy's night +Amy. haha. Apparently I'm officially one of the guys. That's okay with me. However, it was a genuine wake up call. Some things happened that really upset me and I realized, eh...maybe I'm not cut out to be "one of the guys." I saw with my own eyes how guys lure each other into cheating on their girlfriends. Me, having been cheated on numerous times, was very troubled by what I saw. I saw how easy it would be for one of them to take advantage of Greg and put him in a situation when he was most vulnerable to cheat on me. It would be very very simple. It was. I saw it. And it sucked. I went back immediately after we got back from the bars and cried. I like the girlfriend. She's a nice girl. And I know how she's going to be feeling very very soon. My heart goes out to her. I heard on the radio that they were doing a poll, "are guys genetically engineered to cheat, or are they just jerks?" Um...jerks. It's not in the genes, it's the people you surround yourself with. You are who you're friends with. Period. That's why I'm typically picky with my choice of friends. So...a fun night out with the guys??.....so much for that!