Okay, I need to vent. I've had enough of today. Nothing is going my way, I'm breaking things, making messes, keep getting interrupted...UGH! I have too much on my mind today.
After my mishap last night, it got me thinking about the test results. After the surgery that was the one thing I feared most. What would the test results say. The doctor told me that there was one that was definitely abnormal but it didn't look malignant to her. Good news I guess. But I still have to worry about what type I have and how far along it had progressed. Will I have to have another surgery? Good lord I hope not. Everytime I think about it, I get a knot in my stomach, my face gets flushed and panic suffocates me. I'm 22 and having to stress about cervical cancer. Not only cervical cancer but also watching for melanoma and endometriosis. Seriously?! Sometimes I just want to crawl in bed and not come out for days on end. I guess I know how I got diagnosed with depression the first time. Through all of this I've learned that even though it seems that everything can go wrong, it's all for a reason. God will work it out through his own plan and I just have to trust him. It sucks. I hate not being in control. I guess that's the point of faith, right?
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